Good relationships are hard work. What’s worse is having unsolicited ‘advice’ from friends and family that is not at all helpful. Though it is important to have friends and family for support and advice when you need it, sometimes those well meaning support systems could actually share advice that could cause your love life harm. Be selective when receiving the advice, try to figure out what advice could bring your love search to an end before it has a chance to start.
Here are 6 possible culprits to watch out for:
Just Stick It Out…He’ll Change
You’re crying, he’s cheated, again. This time he makes the same promises as before begging for another chance for the 3rd or 4th or 5th time(you’ve lost count). If your mate is being consistently unfaithful or is dishonest, it is paramount to your mental health and life that you decide if the relationship is worth it.
A person will always show you their true selves. It’s your job to pay close attention and then act in your own best interest.
Because apparently to this person, your feelings don’t matter. Although there is something to be said for working toward solutions in a relationship, it’s also important that you are not a doormat for their misuse. If you continue to allow unacceptable behavior it will continue. Exit the merry-go-round, sis, you’ll get dizzy and he’ll get another conquest.
You Have to Change…For the Sake of the Relationship
Unless you have some type of life-altering addiction like drugs or alcohol, it is not necessary to morph yourself into someone’s idea of you. Don’t ever allow anyone to make you feel that 1000% of you should be turned down to make them comfortable. Your unique self, your quirky self, your loud self, your quiet self is all ok. If your partner is not on the ‘Take Me As I Am’ train then he should exit immediately. Things like weight and hair preference will leave you chasing after things and people who don’t genuinely care about you.
Where Trust and Snooping Collide
Not only it is a violation of your mate’s privacy, it is hurtful. The rule of do unto others is an option here. How would you feel if your mate looked thru your text messages or your Facebook page. It is said, “Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.”Well I say, if you distrust your mate enough to search through their phone there has already been a breakdown in the trust factor of your relationship. Relationships are built on trust and if your bank of trust has a negative balance you will only receive negative results. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship, have a verbal conversation and come to a conclusion that either takes your relationship to the next level or closes out all transactions.
Forgive and Forget…..How Many Times?
Reconciliation is great. If the same issue keeps reoccurring without change or regard to your feelings that is not a good sign. To forgive is always a great thing, because it frees you. Forgetting is another story.
It’s a good thing to give a pass for certain flaws that may be counted as mistakes. When forgiveness is taken for granted after some time it transforms into allowance and that is a slippery slope. With that slope increases the chance of further disrespect and once someone is comfortable disrespecting you, they will continue to do it.
Time is Passing You By….It’s Ok to Settle
No matter how loneliness may gnaw at your heels any companion won’t do. It is important to know exactly what you want. If you accept anything else you’ll end up with less than you deserve. Having a mate just for the sake of another body in your presence or in your bed, could turn out to be worse than the loneliness.
Completely basing your criteria on the outer appearance of a person is also a recipe for disaster. Biceps and triceps does not equal honesty and loyalty. An abundant bank account does not equal a good character.
The ‘Fairy Tale’ Romance Exists
As a little girl the story of Cinderella , the whole idea of being a Princess and your Prince Charming coming to your rescue and living happily every after in a castle, was so enchanting and hopeful.
Then the kiss of reality shakes you awake and you realize.What happens for some when we become adults is that fairy tale is taken as reality. We are humans with flaws and those are storybook ‘characters’. When in a relationship real life happens and not every situation will have the ideal outcome. Love is a beautiful thing within a healthy perspective and without perfectionist ideals.
Not everyone is in a position to give you advice about love. Once you take account of what you want and need and look at the entire picture yourself, you should be able to make the best determination for your own life.
What love advice have you received?
What love advice would you give?
Leave a comment.
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